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Connection Keeps Us Vital

The key to the most potent and meaningful collaboration is to cultivate deep, live channels along which you can drive, derive, exchange and share your energy, wisdom and ideas, your life force and creativity. This creates bonds of trust at the deepest level.

Some things - most things, in fact (apart from smelly wind, body odour and unacceptable taste in music) are better shared. We can only properly work together and prosper when we connect and communicate. Magic exists only when elements connect and energy travels.

The plant kingdom has this sussed. In fact, trees which occur naturally (rather than in plantations) are underlinked by a massive fungal organism comprising intricate and extensive networks, along which the trees can communicate and even feed one another. They’ve been doing this cool stuff forever.

We humans can do the same - although many of us could do with first unlearning a few of our more selfish habits, cultivated and preserved by our ego and which serve no purpose other than to establish and bolster our presence as lone individuals. And in the greater scheme of things, an idiot on his or her own will neither survive the Winter nor leave any meaningful legacy. No man is an island, innit?

Dropping the ego in favour of real and honest connection at a profound level is key to building fantastic relationships. Letting go of affectations, maybe some judicious dropping of protocol, disarming your new friend by showing (just a little) personal vulnerability without being screamingly needy (or looking too weird!); we can all master these skills over time, if our intentions are true. And I mean crystal clear reflections of our intent. No hidden agenda, no sly competition or nefarious acquisition. Bring only your purest spirit to the game, because this is proper “me to you” stuff, properly open channels, done for the joy of connection, mutual understanding, sending a message of love to serve the greater good. Like love with a big L and everything (not the soppy stuff).

Actually, when I talk of love here, I mean the unbreakable bond between us. What hurts you hurts me. The “ok, so what do I need to learn? I’m listening” type of love that builds bridges over abandoned canyons. The love which, even when you think someone might be a bit of a dick, you recognise they are ready / asking for help to create something, so you are compelled to open up your channels, raise your vibration towards them and exchange some of your good stuff.

How to get stuck in:

Explore earthy, fundamental, real connections through humour, compassion and shared experience.

Use real language instead of prissy PC bollocks or corporate “speak”

Share food. It’s primal.

Walk and talk. Get to know someone, even for just a few moments at a time. Express some of your own thoughts and feelings (but do remember to choose your words with care and don’t get on your bloody soapbox)

Keep a check on your personal boundaries - you still need them, and they need to be crystal clear. Don’t compromise those or you’ll feel awkward and your magical valves of communication will seal up tighter than a limpet’s bum to a rock.

Open up your body language and beam some energy at them. Be consistent with this so you are easier to read. Don’t be tempted to play games/flirt/be insincere because this will compromise your integrity in the first instance. Your purest intentions only, please.

With that in mind, use plenty of (appropriate) eye contact and open gestures.

Be sincere and remain true to your own values but open to and respectful of theirs

Finally, know when to close the interaction and end the exchange. You cannot stay available and connected indefinitely, not with anyone (or you’ll burn out) But with a lightness of touch you can signal when you want to leave the conversation and close the channel until next time.

Each person responds to a slightly different closing code, btw - it’s not a one size fits all, so don’t get lazy. You’re either in flow and working those channels, or you're not. Don’t drop people like a hot potato just because you can’t work out how to close the conversation elegantly. Think it through, stay genuine, be clear, play nice.

You won’t get sucked into a promise unless your boundaries are adrift, in which case, a little bit of humour can dig you out. It’s not sophisticated, but it works.

Slightly off-topic, but worth a reminder here that if you have to say no to something, be firm, gentle and unapologetic.

Genuine connection, approached in the right way, will impact your life and those of the people you are sharing with for a long time to come. It's a glorious thing.

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